I don’t wanna brag, but I used to be a model. In New York City. That’s right- the fashion capitol of the world. OKay. So I didn’t have a seven-figure deal with Revlon and I never strutted the Parisian runways, but people took my picture for money. After college I signed with an agency called Stars, right under the 59th street bridge, and a half – block down from Scores, the world famous strip club. My agent was a bed-ridden paraplegic known simply as “Timmy.” He claimed he was run over by a cement truck while jogging through central park one night in the early 90’s, but I always found it a tad askew that if Timmy was fit enough to jog, how was he not able to outrun a cement truck?
Laurie, Timmy’s star model, had another explanation. “Timmy ripped off Miss July, and she goes out with this guy that’s in the mafia. He sent his goons to throw Timmy out a six –story window.” Whatever the case, I was a model. (more…)
