Posts Tagged ‘Megan Fox’

Just Beat It

Friday, May 14th, 2010

animals

I was a pre-teen social leper, but I was able to make one friend:
My libido. Some kids had imaginary friends, I had my clitoris. I
once heard in a psychology class that its characteristic of children
with low self esteem to masturbate to excess. This bombshell
revelation explained a lot. My ability to self gratify would provide
me with hours of distraction from being a social leper. And, in the
process, I also discovered that I was something of a creative genius-
that nestled within the sublime loser that was me simmered the soul of a perverse prodigy. I would delight in finding many ways to flex this new muscle. (more…)

Men of Mystery

Monday, April 26th, 2010

International Men of Mystery
WTF? Why do DJ’s get so much ass? Because they know how to work i tunes? I know how to work i Tunes. It’s really not that hard. And yet, some how, your average Hollywood DJ’s list of conquests would turn David Blaine green with envy. Which leads me to a more pressing point, why does David Blaine get so much ass? And for that matter, why do magicians get so much ass? Is it magic? If so, refer to my second question. (why does David Blaine get so much ass) He’s not even doing magic. Standing in a tub of water isn’t magic. Neither is standing on a ledge. He’s basically just standing in different locations and calling it magic. There’s no top hat. There are no rabbits. There’s no hocus friggin’ pocus. (more…)